Balls.

There's not much else that can summarize everything in the world that quickly. "Balls" always does the trick.

So, what's the point? Well, I'll tell you what the fucking point is! People are ridiculous!

All I want is for people to be honest and respectful. I'm pretty god damn easy to get along with if you can follow those two golden rules, but apparently people don't know the meaning of either, which means that I'm pretty much stuck.

Don't get me wrong here! I do have a ton of friends, some of who are the best friends that I could have ever asked for! I'm just sick of having to cut people out of my life because they're not who they claim to be.

Now look, I'm not trying to be preachy here or claim that I'm completely innocent. I know that everyone does things that they dislike, myself included. It's hypocritical, but sometimes it's necessary. If anyone understands that, it's me.

So, the whole situation with that "crazy" friend of mine just set me over the edge when combined with the Kristy and Chrissy situations. That's a total of 3 people who I've essentially cut out of my life lately. Chrissy is too flaky and drops her friends the second her boyfriend pops up for any reason, even if it's a simple phone call. Kristy acts interested for a few days, then starts her same old bullshit routine over again. Throw in this recent situation with that crazy friend of mine and you have a recipe for disaster. This whole thing is driving me nuts and eating away at me because it's just so stupid!

I'll be fine and life will go on, but I just had to vent for a moment about the same ol' shit...

Moving on, I've been pretty bored the past few days and I think it's by choice. I just haven't felt the gaming vibe much, although I do hop onto Xbox Live for some Modern Warfare from time to time. I also broke out good ol' Final Fantasy X International for around an hour and a half. I may actually go through the entire game and consider it a break from reality for a week or so. It's as close to a vacation as I'll get right this minute...

BUT! Otakon is in just over a week! July 17-19 at the Baltimore Convention center here in Maryland, I'll be making my return. It's been 3 years since the last time I attended the convention. It's overwhelming to think that I'll actually be going back. So much has changed. Even the people who go to the convention are different to an extent these days. Most of my friends have given Otakon up, so I'll be left to myself and a handful of others who may go with me. For the most part, I'm flying solo, unless my little cousin actually decides to come along with me, but that's still up in the air. At any rate, this is the first of two major summer events.

Event number two is Ocean City on August 8. I'll be going for the entire week this year because I simply need the break. Even if I just sit inside of the trailer or on the beach all day, I'll be happy to get away from everything. No internet, no video games, no bullshit. Just me, the beautiful east coast USA summer weather and the endless ocean. Of course, tons of family and perhaps some friends will be going, but I can completely avoid them if I so choose and turn my stay with them into my own personal vacation until it's time for us to leave. No matter how it works out, I'm extremely hyped for this trip this year. I just need to enjoy my summer and I need to get away, even if it's only 3 hours away.

Once I start making money from my potential new awesome job, I'll definitely turn the rest of this year into the best one of my life. It's time for me to take the stage, move on with life and get my shit together. If all goes well, I'll be out on my own in just over a year. Until then, it's work, walk the track, journalism and then fun on the weekends. That said, I'm done rambling for now. Maybe I'll actually be able to feel invigorated today after some sleep; enough to walk the track for an hour or so. I need to break myself into a routine, but it's difficult to do without a partner.

Before I take off, I'd like to touch base with myself for a moment about something: AVATAR; the MUD I've become very involved with over the years. I've really been thinking about it lately and I really don't understand it. Very few people even know what it is, much less actually care about it's existence. Those who play it do so obsessively, but some of them take it too far, getting way too involved with the people in reality to the point that it rules their lives. That part is one thing that I simply don't understand. In comparison to other people out there, those people really aren't that great. Only an extremely small selection of them have made their way into my life as people that I pride myself for knowing. Bellorum and RagingBoar are the 2 honorable mentions that I'd like to point out here, but truthfully, I think people who branch out from AVATAR need to really expand their search to that of other areas. Maybe local RPG meets, video game tournaments, bars, clubs, tournaments, Darkon; whatever, ya' know? There are tons of other places to meet real people from the real world and I think that's a necessary social experience, but so many people are being deprived of that experience. Either way, I'm actually rather tired of the people who run the game. They try to force players into promoting the game and they get pissy if you talk the game down. They try to ruin the fun for others constantly by adding all sorts of rules and restrictions just because people find a way to do things in a different way. Innovation should be encouraged, not punished. I haven't really played the game for a few months now and it's been many years since I've actually enjoyed the game, but it's just falling apart. It's a lost cause and within' the next few years, it'll die. What happens to those people then? Not only do they lose hundreds or even thousands of hours that they can't ever get back, but they also lose everything they had to show for those hours, which isn't even any sort of merit in the real world anyway. Even more stitll, when AVATAR dies, they have no common grounds of interest. A handful of them may remain friends, but the rest will stop talking to one another and wont see one another again due to lack of association. It's a sad thing, really. The owner runs his own convention and doesn't even put his full head into the game because he's too stubborn to take a good idea when he hears it. His convention could be making him rich, but he chooses not to let that happen and instead, it dies off more and more every year. I was once a part of that group, right down to the center of the core group, but each and every year, I grow farther and farther away from these people and almost loathe them to a certain extent, yet I still care too much about their wellbeing. Oh well. I just hope they wake up before it's too late...

For now, Steve out! Take care!

-S