One by one...

It seems as though nearly everyone is having some sort of serious problem(s) right now. For me, it's a financial thing, health problems and difficulty finding a job, but that seems to be quickly changing.

First of all, Kristy contacted me recently. She told me that she misses me and we had a brief conversation. It looks like that streak has been broken. I don't really want to associate myself with her long-term, but apparently she literally thought I could have been dead because of how sudden my "disappearance" was. After I explained to her what happened, she seemed very happy and rather ecstatic, so I guess it's believable that she could have thought something bad happened to me for whatever reason. Either way, our conversation lasted only a handful of minutes, after which I went to bed for a few hours.

Next, I traded "Sacred 2: Fallen Angel" for Xbox 360 away. What I received in return was one hell of a deal! I had been wanting a nice PlayStation 2 again, along with a set of Swap Magic discs. Not only did I receive both of those things, but it's a mint condition slim console with 3 PS2 memory cards, 2 PS1 memory cards, 2 Sony brand controllers, all cables, a pre-modified sensor (so I don't have to do any of that myself this time!) and 156 games. I'm quite happy with my trade! I don't know how this one came about, but the guy I traded with apparently didn't care much for this stuff anymore because he's too hardcore into the current generation of gaming. He practically threw it all at me. I almost felt bad, but hey, one man's junk is another man's oh-so-sweet treasure! I missed having my own Swap Magic setup!

Aside from those things, there's another huge change, but in between all of that, I've just been hanging out with friends, playing a little bit of "Final Fantasy XI" and trying to keep myself active and social. I've been in a much better mood overall and I've made quite a few new friends. Relationships with a bunch of other people have also become much better, which means it's almost a chore sometimes to keep in touch with everyone here in Maryland! But hey, I suppose I'm not in too bad of a social situation if that's my only complaint with it, right?

Now, let's get on with the biggest recent occurance. Chrissy and I are now talking again. This wasn't going to happen. I ignored her first attempt, which was a simple text message that said, "Steve?" After that, I ignored a phone call. Next, I received a voice mail later on that same day, but I didn't listen to it for a few days. In that voice mail, she apologized to me and asked me to call her. The word "Please" was also used. Now, she did sound somewhat fake, but that could just be my imagination or paranoia. Still, I was going to ignore it and let life go on without her because I don't want to be hurt again. History only repeats itself. Eventually, I caved in and started off with a very brief and somewhat dickish text message that said something like, "I'm going to make this quick. What do you want?" She explained that she just wanted to talk and told me that she misses me. I was a bit reluctant at first and explained myself 50 times over, both via text messages and over AIM. Eventually, we seemed to reach a mutual agreement and after that, she gradually talked to me more and more again over the course of the 2 days we've been talking. So yesterday, my best male friend came over to hang out, as he usually does these days and while he was here, Chrissy called me in the afternoon and talked for a few minutes. Around 5 minutes later, she called back and asked if she could come over. I could have said no and walked away. That was my chance to finalize it or give her a real chance at being a real friend again. Because I'm not a total dick, I decided to let her come over. While she was here, I offered her some pizza and we just talked for a long time. Eventually, I went with her to the T-Mobile store so that she could buy one of the brand new model Sidekick LX cell phones. We didn't end up walking out of there with the phone. Before I knew it, she was being crazy and texting her boyfriend with phones from the T-Mobile store and trying to catch him ignoring her. She caught him and it set her off, which caused her to text him that they're over. She broke up with him right there, then walked out and started crying. So, for the next 3 hours, she sat in my living room crying her eyes out, then on my porch for another 30 minutes, then at White Marsh Mall and Buffalo Wild Wings for 30 minutes. See, I tried to cheer her up, but I suck at that sorta' thing in serious situations like that and on top of that, I couldn't get physical with her and hold her or anything like that, like most friends would. I just didn't trust her like that anymore; still don't. But we talked it out and I was trying so hard to stick to my guns and at least make her stop crying, which worked for about an hour. After calling my uncle and heading out to Buffalo Wild Wings, it started up like crazy again. She took her car and followed us there and I knew exactly why, but I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. When we requested our table, we got called in very shortly afterwards and I sat outside with Chrissy for a few moments to calm her down. That didn't work out, so we walked inside after my Uncle called me 3 times bitching me out for taking so long. He wasn't trying to be a dick, but Chrissy was ruining the evening and shit, it was her own fault! I didn't want to tell her that, but seriously, she broke up with him and was going in circles. We ordered our food and I basically downed an entire Mellow Yellow within' 2 minutes because I was so thirsty, but shortly after that, Chrissy walked out and said she had to call her dad back. I asked her, "Are you leaving?" and she said no. So I reiterated the point to give her a chance to be honest about it, but she said she was coming back. As soon as she walked out, my Uncle said, "How mch you wanna bet that she doesn't come back?" and I just nodded in agreement; I know Chrissy too well. Sure enough, she lied. She went to her car, texted me that she was leaving 10 minutes later and then went to sleep. I texted her a few times with no response, but later she said she was trying to lay down. I don't know how much I believe that. I think she was just crying and texting her (ex?-)boyfriend like crazy. She fucked up and so did her boyfriend. They're both in the wrong and they should both take a break and eventually find new people to date. They're young as balls and not prepared for a serious relationship.

So, no matter how you slice it, I think I may have made a mistake. I really want Chrissy to be a better person and I truly do wish that we could remain friends and get as close as we used to be. Apparently she trusts me still, but seriously, what the fuck? I don't know what else to say about that! I was happy without drama and she's already brought that back into my life. We've hung out ONE FUCKING TIME and she's already starting to stress me out again! I refuse to let this continue. In the future, I wont go so easy on her. I don't want to be a bad person, but I sure as fuck want to remain happy and if she thinks that she's going to use me for attention because she's having trouble in other areas of her life, she's going to be sorely disappointed. At this point, I'm wholly prepared to just walk away. I'm not attached to her right now like I used to be. So, I guess we'll see what happens in the coming days.

In the mean time, I'm going to go sleep. When I wake up, I might play some "Prototype" or "Dirge of Cerberus", depending on my mood and then go out to "Fattie's Bar & Grill" with my brother and his crew for a few hours. I could use a drink or 20 right about now. Until next time, Steve out. Take care!

-S