Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Things seem to be moving at a snail's pace, but progress is progress.

It's been more than two full weeks since I last updated this thing. I've been both extremely busy and yet not busy enough for various reasons. There's a lot to talk about, but I feel like it's just not enough anymore. I want to kick my life up a few steps and get things started, but is that even possible? Who knows anymore?

First thing's first: Chrissy. Since my last post, I've officially managed to avoid any contact with her, aside from a very brief accidental run-in. I told her boyfriend a few small truths, she sent me a nasty voice mail and I never responded. That's pretty much the end of it, but she's playing with that boy's heart and I don't like it. Oh well. I tried, but he wont listen and neither will she. Nothin' I can do about that. I'm used to being away from her, though and it doesn't sting as much as it used to. That saga is over now, though and I'm happy to finally be done with it.

Kristy and Emily both have not been a part of my life for a long while now. Emily hasn't even tried to contact me, but Kristy has sent me three messages, all of which simply said "hi". I'm invisible to her and she's not on my buddy list, so as far as she knows, I don't use Yahoo anymore. I did not respond to any of those messages and I'm damn proud of myself for that. It feels like it's been forever since I've been with anyone, but I've grown used to this whole thing and I'm perfectly fine with being single again. I don't really bother trying to date anyone and while there's that one girl who I'd date if the chance ever came about, I don't really focus on that. It's on my mind, but it doesn't stand out or slow me down. Life has become all about me and my friends, which is an entirely awesome thing that I almost forgot was possible. Living life without relationship stress or tie-downs is so freakin' awesome and I truly need this time to myself.

My best friend has been coming around very regularly; almost daily. He typically only shows up at night, but we hang out during the day from ttime to time. We share laughs, tell stories and sometimes play games, but most importantly, we support one another as friends. He's become a very good sport with my stupid jokes and even makes some of his own. In general, he's one of my main ties to the real world, along with my younger brother and a handful of others who I hang out with on a semi-weekly basis, but not nearly as much as my best friend.

I was reinstated on Avatar, which was awesome for a while. I met someone from my past all over again and I've been having a great time getting to know that person again. We've had several good conversations and we only grow closer by the day. Aside from that, I was working on a few massive side projects that aren't quite ready to be unveiled to the MUD or the other staff members just yet, but I think I'm completely done with that place. For whatever reason, certain people have been very rude to me who have been good friends and essentially mentors in the past. They've been trying to make me read the immortal laws, go through immortal school again and all sorts of other dumb stuff, which doesn't make any sense. I reported a bug and yes, I used it to check out the level 1,000 command list, but it was only on a harmless test port and I did nothing with that power. If that's why everyone is in an uproar, they can eat a giant dick together. If there's something else that I don't know about, I'd really like to know what it is so we can put this whole thing in the past, but I'm not dealing with anyone until they treat me like a human being. Until then, Avatar is dead to me. I'll stick to games that are actually fun with my real-life friends instead of working and socializing in a place where people apparently don't give a rat's ass about me. As a game, Avatar sucks. It's boring, repetitious and truly is nothing more than a game of numbers. It requires no skill and minimal knowledge to play the game, even up to the highest available tier at the time of this writing. If you can read and you can type at a moderate pace, you can play Avatar. They don't realize that my entire reason for working with them and playing there is because I care about the people, not the game. I enjoyed their company and we shared a lot of good laughs. I don't really know what happened and it kinda' hurts to think that these people, whom I genuinely considered to be friends for an extremely long time, think of me as nothing more than an animal. I don't really know how I'm going to handle this situation, but it's not at the top of my list right now. There's a lot of other stuff going on.

I'm caught up on all of my stuff, including my negative balances everywhere and I believe that everything is stable for the time being. There's still a lot of debt to pay off, but I'm working on that. I canceled everything aside from my ATM card and 1 of my credit cards, both of which get used only when needed and never for major purchases unless I'm 100% sure that I have the cash in the bank. I've got that under control, although I'm just a little bit on edge and I may have to sell one or two games to make sure it's all resolved, but I have a few games that are valuable and useless to me, so it's not the end of the world.

I miss owning a PS3, even though I rarely played it. I'll get another one when it's cheaper, but E3 didn't throw any curveballs out there that made the PS3 stand out as something that I need to have again just yet. I think I made the right choice for now, after having witnessed this massively disappointing press conference. MicroSoft totally stole the show, although Nintendo's announcements of "Super Mario Galaxy 2", "Golden Sun DS" and "Metroid Other M" were absolutely amazing. I never expected the "Golden Sun" series to be revived, so that knocked me off my feet. I was truly in awe and even made the :O face in real-life. "Red Steel 2" also looks really cool, even though the first one was very much a disappointment. They've put a lot of effort into making that game a really polished experience. Then we have "No More Heroes 2", among other things. There's a lot of good stuff hitting the Nintendo platforms, so thank you, Nintendo! I have something to look forward to for your consoles again! It's about time!

Financially, I'm broke as hell. I've dropped in applications both online and in peerson at so many places that I'm starting to wonder if there's a single place left on Earth that's still hiring. I need a job so that I can pay off my debt and start saving up to move on with my life. It sucks balls, but maybe that golden ticket will come my way and lead me to a stable job soon. Who knows? I sure as hell don't.

I haven't been hanging out with people very frequently aside from my best friend, but there are a few things somewhat planned. I also haven't spoken much to my Xbox Live buddies, who are also real-life friends that I just rarely see. They're both off playing different MMORPGs, so I just don't see them very often because of that. There's not much I can do about that, but everything will snap into place on that front eventually. It always does. I'm just in a dry spot right now, which means I feel pretty damn lonely on a daily basis.

Atlus has finally made their MMORPG, "NeoSteam", public. I took part in the semi-closed beta and while I liked it, I didn't really get addicted until it went public. Since it's been public, I've put a good thirty or fourty hours into it. The game hasn't even been out for a single full week yet and I'm already almost halfway to the maximum player level. There are players who put far more time into the game and level far, far more and are even up to the mid-60s already, but all things considered, I'm pretty high up there. I started my own guild, which has a good amount of members and I've made a few new friends from that. I've also made a few non-guild acquaintances, which could lead to long-term friendships. Who knows? Either way, I'm having fun with the game. If you're interested in checking the game out, it's 100% free and doesn't require a high-end computer to run. The address is http://neosteam.atlusonline.com and you can sign up, download the client and get started fairly fast! Hopefully I see you there!

I haven't spoken to my close female cousin ever since she popped her child out. She parties a lot and does some general stuff involving taking care of her new kid, but she doesn't seem to care that I exist now that she's not bored anymore. It's a shame, you know, but I saw this coming, as I pointed out in blogs a while ago.

I miss my buddy from Florida. He and I were close for a long time, but he rarely ever says anything to me anymore. He used to have long conversations with me and sometimes we'd play games together, but most importantly, he made it known on almost a daily basis that I meant something to him. He made me feel like an important part of his life very often and I really enjoyed that sorta' friendship. I don't know what happened, but there doesn't seem to be much of a reason for it. I just hope that works out in the long run. I'm tired of losing friends, especially when it's for a stupid or even unknown reason.

I haven't hung out with my Uncle much for a while, but I think I'm going to try and schedule something for this weekend if he's not busy. I need to get out, hang out and be positive. In fact, I may give him a call after I'm done writing on here.

I'm sure that there's a lot of things left to talk about, but I'll write about those another time. I'm exhausted. Take care!


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