Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Boring, boring, boring...

Nothing has been going on. At all. I went out to Cici's Pizza Buffet, relaxed with my Uncle and played two PS3 games, but that's all I've done since the last post. Oh, and I can't forget the fact that one of my best friends dropped by for a while. We had some good conversations, laughed a bit and just relaxed. Still, there's always an emotional barrier that has to be broken down every so often and as such, I need to unleash my feelings before I go nuts.

My Australian ex-girlfriend dropped by and we talked for about five minutes before I said "BRB", then disappeared. I didn't bother saying good bye and I didn't make any excuses at the time. I apologized when I woke up from my extended period of sleep, but that was very brief and I simply don't think I care about to let her relationship stick as a part of my life. It's time to let go of her.

My other ex-girlfriend has been seeing this guy she likes, fucking his brains out and prioritizing him above everyone else. I'm not trying to get back together with her, but I expect some degree of respect, ya' know? It's not cool when she hangs up with me in an instant just so she can talk to this guy on the phone for four hours, then fuck his brains out all night. The worst part about this is that she says she loves me, gets frustrated when I don't say it back and them blames me when I call her out on all of this. It's driving me crazy and as much as I like having her around for the sake of a stable friendship, this one just isn't working out, either.

Then there's the issue of my supposed best female friend being an asshole. She had me go with her to a clinic to get yet another free STD/HIV test because she insisted, despite the fact that she's had a dozen tests of the exact same variant done with happy results, that there's still a chance she has HIV. I'm sorry, but results don't fucking change overnight. Every time she does this, she wastes both her time and the time of whoever goes with her, not to mention the money it costs her and/or her father for gas or doctor bills, depending on where she's going. It's out of hand and we're all sick of it. I hope this is the end of that and that she can bury the god damn hatchet and be happy for a change. What's more still, though, is that this isn't even the worst of the problems I have with her. She'll call me, talk for a bit, have me go with her to one of these doctor visits, then ignore or avoid me for a few days. She'll do the same thing with virtually anything else. She's even hanging out with her two best female friends today and she's actively attentive with them, but when I send her a message, she ignores me. What kind of BULLSHIT is that? Am I chopped fucking liver? Seriously? I'm really starting to lose my patience with her. I've said that fifty times by now, but I'm really on the verge of just walking out on her. This friendship is becoming more trouble than it's worth and as much as I love the girl like a sister, she obviously doesn't feel the same way. I'm honestly starting to wonder if she ever did feel that way, or if she just used me to fill a void for attention when she had no one else? I don't even know, but she's far too self-centered and assinine for her own good and frankly, I've had enough of it.

I've had a shitload of trouble finding a job lately and while I'm doing some freelance writing on the side, that isn't making as much money as people assume it does. I'm starting to apply to places like The Pennysaver, with the hope that I can find an office close enough to my living area. I've also applied to places even as terrible as McDonald's, but I've received no callbacks and every single time I make an effort to apply in person or call them instead, I get denied. My review skills are just fine and they always seem to want me, but I get the "overqualified" notion every god damn time. I'm getting extremely pissed off about that. Where am I supposed to find work in such a fucked economy if I'm overqualified for every god damn job I apply for?

I'm going to go play some more "Disgaea 3" and relax for a while. I'll write whenever the need strikes. For now, Steve out. Take care!


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