Before I start, congratulations to my close female cousin, who gave birth to her beautiful baby daughter last night. I was honestly upset that no one contacted me, but I'm happy that the baby is finally out. I was supposed to be there when the child was born, but no one called me. She only texted me after the baby popped out. Whatever, though. I'll probably hang out with her and party a bit to celebrate sometime soon, but her and I are quickly drifting apart again because she's an asshole. Moving on, though...
Right now, there's a few things on the horizon, as well as a few ongoing problems that I need to take care of as soon as possible. I'll start with the problems, though.
1 - My ex-best female friend. I need to send her a single message with every single detail about the situation, so that she knows how I feel and that we are no longer friends. She's a very oblivious girl sometimes and if I don't tell her, she'll just assume that everything is okay and pop up one day like nothing is wrong. I'll have to do this sometime soon because otherwise, it'll drag on forever and nothing will come of it.
2 - My Australian ex-girlfriend. I need to seriously block her and remove her from every part of my life. She's no good for me and even if I'd like to salvage a friendship, it just doesn't work. Our friendship is nothing but a series of false hopes that we both cling on to just because we can. I'm able to move on, but I need to grab a hold of my rather large balls, suck it up and do it. If I don't, I'll always have her eating away at me.
3 - My best male friend. We've been talking about things in much deeper, more serious detail lately and he's finally starting to see my incredibly serious side, but he just keeps doing the same bad things over again. He'll learn the hard way, just like most people, but I really wish he'd learn it from me, so that he doesn't have to go through a serious heartbreak. There's nothing I can do about it, though. I just wish I could help more than I currently am. I'll probably meet the girl soon, though. He did say we should all hang out, so we'll see what happens.
4 - Money. I'm not making much cash right now and I seriously apply online and by phone on almost a daily basis to a ton of different places. I've received no job offers at all. Our economy is so fucked right now and it's really hurting my life. There's a small chance that I may have a job at GameStop in the near future when some other guy quits, but that wont net me very many hours or much pay. It's money, though and it's all the same industry, so I'll be happy with that for now.
5 - Girls. I'm ready to start playing the dating game again, but only when I find girls who like me for who I am, the way I am and the things I'm into. I refuse to date some chick who doesn't at least respect my hobbies and interests. I'm working on losing weight, but it's not happening very rapidly at this point. I'm also working on a complete style change, but that's obviously for the better, utilizing the compiled advice from many female friends with honest opinions. The hard part is just finding girls that are worth the time and effort. I don't want to do the online dating thing ever again, unless I meet a local girl through MySpace or something and go from there. And no, the girl I could potentially like doesn't seem all too interested in me. I mean, she does, but she doesn't know me well enough to really take that into consideration and I wont press the issue. I haven't even said anything to her yet, so who knows? If that works out, cool, but I can't rely on that. I have to look at other options and play it by instinct, no matter how much I'd like to date this girl.
6 - Finances. This ties in with my need for a job, but it still deserves it's own brief section. I need to pay off hospital bills and credit, but I'm only paying the minimum amounts on the credit and the hospital bills have destroyed my credit because I simply can not afford to pay them. I owe around $2,000 in total to the hospital, but there's nothing I can do about it until I get a job. It was either fuck my credit up or die. What would you have done?
7 - My room. I need to move everything out of my room, wash the walls, patch up the small hole in my wall, paint the walls, lay down a new carpet, buy and set up wall mountable shelves, buy a new computer chair, buy a new (smaller) desk, buy a new (small) entertainment center, buy a new ceiling-based mount for CRT model TVs, buy a new bedset and curtains, buy a new air conditioner, clean my windows and completely rearrange my current room setup. All of that is a major pain in the ass and a seriously expensive endeavor, not to mention the amount of closet cleaning and organizing that must be done to top it all off. This will come on the side after I get a job. Between this and my finances, I wont have any extra spending cash, but it'll be worth it in the long run.
8 - My games. I currently own 48 retail Xbox 360 games, 87 Xbox Live Arcade games and a handful of stuff for the PSN, not counting the massive amount of PC games and oldschool games that I own. Of the Xbox 360 stuff, though, I haven't actually completed many of my games. I'm working on that, but I need to start playing everything I have before I go nuts and buy more games. By the time my next batch of games is here, I'll break the 50 retail game mark for Xbox 360. Soon enough, I'll probably break the 100 mark Xbox Live Arcade games. On top of that, I need a 120GB HDD for my Xbox 360 because I don't have room for much more. I had to delete my Burnout Paradise 1.7 add-on just to make room for upcoming stuff. If you break it down, I have around 70,000 gamerscore worth of games for the Xbox 360, but my gamerscore is only 16,091. That's factoring in games that I do not currently own, though, which means that there's a massive amount of stuff I haven't really played through yet. This is ridiculous and every time I think about it, it makes me want to play more games. I'm working on it, though and seeing as it's my primary go-to hobby when I'm at home, I'll at least complete every game once through. I highly doubt that I'll go nuts with most of the achievements, though.
8 - My mental health. I have serious anxiety. I need to see the local psychiatrist and get medication before my heart explodes or something. I have anxiety attacks regularly, with a full-blown panic attack from time to time and it sucks. It's really not cool at all.
9 - My physical health. I need to see a doctor about trying a pill form of Asthma medication to go with my inhaler and perhaps some sort of pain medication to help out with my back. It would also be nice to get some better allergy medication and something to help out with my blood pressure, which is naturally high. There's a lot of stuff that I want to get fixed and even if it means taking 20 pills every day to fix various things, I think I'd be willing to make that sacrifice, so long as they're not going to make me loopy or anything. That's why I'd need to discuss it all with the doctor first, of course.
That's everything, aside from the whole license/car thing, but those aren't on the current list. I need to take care of other things before I can focus on a regular monthly bill to pay for car insurance, not even factoring in the cost of a car or the time and money for the driver's ed.
Despite all of that stuff, there's a good amount of stuff to look forward to. I have a birthday party to attend this weekend, as well as some quality drinking/gaming time with my Uncle. There's also Otakon this July and Ocean City in August. Then we have the inevitable 4th of July party at my Grandmom's house, which is always a blast. There are plenty of slick graduation parties coming up, a few random massive parties, followed by huge Halloween and New Years parties later in the year. Aside from all of that, I'll be going out with friends fairly often to bars, cook outs and general indoor social gatherings. Even more still, there's a good amount of great video games coming out this year, some of which I should be getting to review, which makes the releases even sweeter. I'm really looking forward to "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2", "Assassin's Creed 2" and a few others, but there's plenty of stuff to go around, for sure. To top the whole thing off, I'm making more new friends every day and I've never been more confident in my entire life. This is a fantastic year and this summer is going to be the best one yet.
So, friends, I leave you with a toast, to the future and the things we all must overcome to better ourselves and be happy. Take care!