E...

Explanation not needed, but an ex-girlfriend from the summer of 2008 has returned to my life with a full-force bang. I'd never want to date her again, but we spoke on the phone for several hours and honestly, I don't mind being her friend, so long as she doesn't try to make any passes or serious advances this time. I actually feel a bit happy on the inside because we had a great conversation, but then she knows I can help her and she may be using me. I'm a bit afraid of that, so I'll keep her on the far side of the tracks. I only trust her as far as I can throw her. She asked me if I'd give her $400 for a night of sex; anything I wanted. I couldn't tell if she was serious or joking, considering her personality, but I was disgusted by the notion. It's fucked up and I shrugged it off with my morality, which I explained to her several times before she gave up. She's probably a whore to a certain extent, given that she's an asshat who fucked me over in the past. Same ol' story; story of my life, at that!

I also talked to my Australian ex-girlfriend briefly. As expected, she sent me a message and pretended like nothing ever happened, but she was extra nice to me. I'm assuming that she knows she fucked up and was trying her best to "make it up" to me in her own way, but I only gave her about 40 minutes of my time, which is far more than I should have, especially in my current zombie-like state. I don't know what her deal is, but she needs to grow up.

As for the rest of my day, I haven't played any games or even eaten much of anything aside from 1 nice portion of food at the baby shower and a pretty large plate of various desserts. At the end of the day, it was an okay party, but I didn't even speak to my close female cousin or her friends. I was having anxiety issues for some random ass reason. I don't really know why that happened. It doesn't usually get me in that way around most people these days. She wasn't offended though and I did send her an apology, sign her card, give her a gift, etc. I basically sat and talked with a few people and ate good food, then went home to my computer, where I fried my brain.

I did play a bit of "Left 4 Dead" with a terrific friend of mine from Florida. He just picked up the game, so I ran him through 2 of the campaigns and explained a few things to him. He's learning very well, as expected. He's a potential solid team mate for serious survival mode runs when it comes out sometime in the Spring, if he's interested enough. I'd be happy to have him on board for some survival mode, for sure! Aside from that, I just rotted my brain. It's almost 4AM, which is 4 and a half hours earlier than I went to bed last night, except I only had about 3 and a half hours of sleep last night. I need to get to bed and catch some real "zzz"s for a change. For now, sweet dreams. Take care!

-SM