Monday, March 30, 2009

RE5 update, plus random thoughts.

I'm rank 59 now. It's pretty damn exciting! We're going to be attempting to shave off more seconds later tonight, I think. I'm also just about done with my "Bully: Scholarship Edition" achievements. There are two achievements left, but I believe that the second will unlock just by finishing the requirement for the first. Once that one's completed, I suppose I'll play more "Saint's Row 2", grind zombies on occasion in "Left 4 Dead" and crack open "Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts".

In other news, my friends are awesome, but a bit more distant lately. My best female friend arranged to hang out all weekend, but simply ignored me again. We were set up to go to the movies last night with her boyfriend and the girl that I could potentially like, but she just didn't say anything. Saturday, she sent a message, talked for about five minutes, then just stopped responding out of nowhere again. I'm on the verge of simply letting her be the one to initiate contact and in fact, I think that's what I'm going to do from now on. Fuck it, ya' know? Why should I always have to be the one to do it all?

On the ex-girlfriend side of things, it seems as though the problems never end. My Australian ex-girlfriend just hasn't been around since I last told her what was on my mind. If you don't recall, I straight up told her not to talk to me if she's going to be a horse's cock. Of course I didn't call her a horse's cock, but I should have. I did send her another message to tell her that a part of me will always love her, but that I have to let that go. I just wanted her to know that in case something happened to me, though. I was freaking out over the crazy weird head-thumping and light-headed stuff. It doesn't seem as bad right now, so we'll see. If it happens like that again, I'm off to the ER for sure.

My other ex-girlfriend has been extremely sick, as you should know by now, but she's discovered that she's allergic to one of her antibiotics, so now she has to spend her last $11 on gas money to get to the hospital, even though she's low on money, low on food and has a kid to take care of, all because her friends are assholes and treat her like an animal. She doesn't seem to toss these friends aside, despite all of that, but whatever. There's a lot more to it and I know she'd be alone aside from like two people if she got rid of all of her "bad" friends, but it's still no way to live. She may be an insane slut, but she really is a nice person and she does try her best to make people happy.

My close female cousin has been busy and never bothers to really talk to me or set anything up. I'm pretty sure that I'm the guy she invites over when no one else is available. I'm like the backup plan to the backup plan. Every so often, someone will show up when I hang out with her, but it's almost as if it's unexpected and she doesn't want me there. I don't know how to explain it, but it's all about the way she talks to me and how she carries herself in relation to me.

There are a few friends who I know exclusively through the internet, at least for now, but all of them seem rather distant lately. That even includes the people who I actually allow access to this blog. Everyone just seems uninterested in having a real conversation these days. Who knows? Everyone has a reason, but it all just seems really weird. In particular, though, a friend of mine from Florida just disappeared for the past few days. I don't know why, but I'm assuming he was just busy or out all weekend, so it's not a big deal. I guess, to put it simply, I just feel like I have nobody because of my lack of real-life physical attention. I'm lonely as shit. I miss my friends, both in real-life and the ones who seem distant over the internet. I do actively speak to a few people and no, it's not as though I only have two friends, but the biggest problem is real-life friendship. Everyone insists on staying home and those who would actually do things have been assholes lately, namely my supposed best female friend.

Anyway, I'm going to stop before I turn into a broken record all over again. There's honestly not much else to talk about right now anywa, so I'm done writing until I have more to say. Take care!

-SM

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