Monday, March 16, 2009

The latest intel

Well, one of my best friends seems more interested in coming to hang out again, so that's great. I haven't talked about him much on here because he honestly hasn't been around much or said all that much to me for a long while now, but hopefully that's all in the past. I hope everything's good now. He dropped by last night, stayed over and caught up on some stuff. We had a long series of heart-to-heart conversations, played "Resident Evil 5" co-op for the first 4 sub chapters and ate a bit of food. In the end, he went over to my neighbor's house and fell asleep in a bed over there. It was overall a good day and I hope he comes around more now that he sees how people in my house treat him. He's a part of this family, honestly.

The one whom I refer to generally as my best friend because she tends to be the person that I spend the most time with is not indeed my only best friend. I'm making this clarification now because the previously mentioned best friend pointed out that it sounded as though I held her above and beyond my other best friends. That's only true to a certain extent. There are other people who I consider to be best friends, but I hold some of them to a higher standard. The best friend who was over here last night and the girl I call my "best friend" here in this blog are both in the category of my highest tier of friendship. I'm still going to refer to her as my best friend because everyone knows her as that in this blog, but I'll refer to her as my female best friend for separation's sake.

On that note, my female best friend still hasn't said much to me and she hasn't stopped to bring back my "Fallout 3" game. I'm starting to get very worried. It feels like I may be losing a friend. This is the fifth time that this has happened, I think. She always comes back, but it only happens in phases. She gets bored of something else and then uses me as a failsafe; that's how it seems. I hate feeling like that. I love her like a sister and I really don't want that to be true. If I find out that she uses me as a backup plan, a last resort or anything else, I'll be heartbroken. She's a sister. She's family. I trust her with everything, even knowing that she lies a lot and does stupid things. She even has this blog address. She could read about this at any time and I wouldn't care. She probably wont, but the point is that she has full access. I hope she comes around, realizes what she's doing and actually acts like a real god damn friend.

In other news, I've been playing "Resident Evil 5" so much that I've been putting off everything else. I need to get on the ball with stuff. I need to pick up the job hunt again, start spam messaging people to get their attention and really enforce the idea of group gatherings with my friends. I also need to fix my sleeping hours, which will be done in a few days; perhaps sometime this weekend. I need a week or so for my body to lessen it's immunity to Diphenhydramine. It wont be super potent still, but it'll be well enough to force myself to sleep early as hell at some point or another. Also, I'm supposed to be going over my close female cousin's place to hang out on Tuesday. She's in chapter 5 and wants to "watch someone else" play the game because she'd rather do that than play it herself, supposedly. She's nowhere near the real fan she claimed to be, but it's all good. I love the game and I'll play it anyway to an extent. I may just take Rock Band over there, since she now has an Xbox 360 and such.

On the female front, both of my ex-girlfriends are weird. My seemingly slutty ex-girlfriend seems more like a slut, but less like a potential girlfriend at this point. She's been very friendly, open and honest with me about everything. She's very interested in doing sexual things with me, coming to visit me or having me visit her, but I don't want those things to happen. Perhaps a visit would be okay, but I'd restrain her from sexual activity if she came out here to hang out. I'm not like that, especially not with girls who are already in a relationship. She's a drama queen and her life revolves around such things, so I've had to hear about that constantly. However, I've enjoyed our conversations, she makes me feel very welcome and I think that this could really work as a stable friendship; never anything more. I'm confident with friendship in her casee, though. On the other hand, my Australian ex-girlfriend is making some effort, but very little of it. She acts as though talking to me is an obligation and I get the feeling that she thinks of me as a lesser being or something in a certain fucked up sense. I don't know how to explain it, but regardless, I don't like it at all. I'm starting to honestly want her out of my life and I may follow through with that feeling. The more I talk to her, the less I like her.

It's time for some porn, maybe a bowl of cereal, perhaps a movie or a few episodes of "The Office" and some masturbation. Until next time, Steve out! Take care!


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