I hate how life works...

I was supposed to go out for St. Patrick's Day and get wasted. Everyone bailed out, so I went to sleep and just said "Fuck it." That's not something I'd normally do because it's like a tradition for my friends and I to get as drunk as we can in celebration, even though none of us are Catholic, nor are we actually Irish, so the holiday means nothing to us, technically. They bailed out and I wasn't going to drink alone, so I felt like shit that my friends all bailed out. EVERYONE bailed out. After I woke up, I found out that my close female cousin asked me about it, so she would have probably shown up for a while, but honestly I'm depressed.

Before I go on, I'd like to point out that the new movie based on one of my favorite series of all time, "Dead Like Me: Life After Death" is out. It's available both on DVD and the NetFlix instant watch service. I've yet to watch it and despite the absolutely terrible reviews, several serious (potentially very negative) changes and lack of real closure, I'm still very excited and I'm going to turn it on after I get some rest. I highly recommend that you go check out the 2 seasons of the show ASAP if you have time to kill and an open mind. It's absolutely amazing, very deep and will make your head spin, your heart melt and your eyes leak. So yeah, go check out "Dead Like Me" right freakin' now!

First: My supposed best female friend outright ignores me most of the time. She never responds and when she does, it's very brief. The other day, she said she was bringing back "Fallout 3" and she never dropped by. Any time I ask about it, she ignores it. I'm getting fed up with it. She usually says she's been busy, but this time, she said she hasn't been doing anything and she's also been spending a lot of time with another friend. If she can do that, why can't she fit time for me in there? Or is it simply that she doesn't care enough about me to do so? Maybe she's losing sight of our friendship and doesn't care to hang out with me anymore. That right there is what scares me about the situation, honestly. I want my game back and I know that I'll get it at some point, so that's not what's bothering me. This is really getting under my skin.

Next: I'm starting to feel alone. I'm getting used to being single again, which is kinda' good because I'm not really in need of "getting over" anyone right now. I don't have a big emotional attachment to anyone and I'm trying not to let that develop at all right now, as well. I have tons of time to myself, which is good in a sense, but now I feel like I never have anything to do. No one wants to hang out, I'm very lonely, I sleep alone, I cuddle my fucking pillow and honestly, as much as I enjoy having this amount of freedom and space, I'd give it up to have my life back. I'm tired of being pushed aside by everyone. I'm tired of being alone. I need my friends.

And last, for the time being anyway, the latest status update of my "Resident Evil 5" progress. I basically just need to finish Professional mode now, which is going to be a pain in the dick. I have some odds and ends to tie up before moving onto that, but I'm not even going to worry about gathering EP to finish infinite ammo for everything until I finish Professional mode. Once I have that achievement, whatever points are left for me to get, I'll grind off and call it a day. By then, the DLC may be released, which means I have 250 more points to unlock, but those all seem easyish. There's a bit of a grind involved with some of it, but it's not too bad. A few hours for 250 points to max out the game at 1250/1250 is fine by me! I gotta' keep on top of the RE5 achievements! But honestly, I'm too tired to talk about anything else right now. I need to get some rest. I'm depressed, lonely and in pain. Take care!

-SM