My cousin must have lost her damn mind...

Yesterday, I wound up at my close female cousin's place. Her mom picked me up, as usual and from there, we hung out. For a good while, I basically just sat there and talked to her while she painted ceramic letter for her upcoming child's room; she's hanging them above the cradle and the letters spell the child's name. After that, I ate some of my aunt's delicious chicken soup. My cousin kept complaining about how oily it was and kept begging for something else to eat, so she wound up eating a corn dog while I finished my gigantic bowl of soup. I really liked the oily style, but anyway, after that was all said and done, my aunt and her best friend left for the usual Sunday night bingo. When they were gone, my cousin immediately rushed to figure out what mischief we could get into, since her dad was the only other person home and he doesn't give a shit what we do. She was going to get some E, but in all honesty, I wouldn't have done that and I'd of been pissed off if she did that while she was pregnant. Eventually, I talked her out of it and she started trying to figure out what else we could do without limited resources. After a bunch of phone calls and some research, she ordered a 5th of Captain Morgan and a slice of cheesecake because she was craving sweet stuff. We each paid for half, which took exactly all of the cash we had at the time, plus an extra dollar from her dad. While we were waiting, I helped her clean up the ceramic letters so that they were ready to be decorated and hung up later. After our liquor was delivered, I basically rushed to finish it and killed the entire bottle. Little did I know, however, that Amanda was sneaking drinks in and also wound up a little drunk. That seriously pissed me off, but I didn't say anything to her, although I really should have done so. Had her mother found out, she'd of been in deep shit and I'd of been in trouble for "letting" it happen, so I just sorta' shrugged it off, as hard as that was and tried to figure out what else we were going to do for the rest of the night. Eventually, I got in touch with the guy I've been avoiding and told him to bring some alcohol so that he could get drunk with me and crash there. He eventually showed up, drank a bottle of Parrot Bay and a few Yuenglings, then talked to Amanda for a while after my uncle called me upstairs for a while. Now, prior to this, the first time we went downstairs, my uncle had a long hour-long talk with me about business, his past and cartoons. That was a very entertaining conversation. However, this second conversation only had two purposes. The first purpose was to make sure that my friend wasn't driving, so he could take his keys if that was the case. He doesn't drive, so that was okay. The second purpose was his attempt to convert me to the ways of Christianity. Little did he know who he was messing with! I countered every argument he had and according to my cousin, I'm the first person who ever got him to agree to disagree because I argued my points so god damn well and because I know exactly what I'm talking about. I proved to him that homosexuality is portrayed as a good thing in the bible, that a girl sucks a horse's dick in the bible (and it's not frowned upon by anyone when said event happens) and also the good ol' Deuterotomy scriptures that tell you to kill your wife and stone your child if they fuck up. After I showed to him those events in the bible, he basically shut up and let me walk away without arguing anymore. I know that I'll never crush his faith, but now he knows that he'll never turn me over to Christianity, too. So anyway, by the time I headed back downstairs, I was feeling the peak of my drunkness and so I started being loud and mildly obnoxious, unintentionally so. I made a few stupid and silly phonecalls, only one of which I remember in full detail and eventually pissed my cousin off by talking to my friend until 4AM. He wouldn't shut up, though, so it wasn't just my fault. There was a lot of shit going on and we talked about it because we hadn't talked for a while. On that note, my friend encouraged my cousin to drink more and I'm going to have a serious talk with him about that another time. After all of that, I eventually fell asleep for about an hour on a really uncomfortable and unstable air mattress. I woke up around the time my alarm went off, which was set for my friend so that he could go to the diner before he went home to sleep a bit and head off to work. I was supposed to go with him, but it had snowed outside and it was far, far too cold, not to mention that I felt like complete shit. My allergies and asthma were both going nuts. I rushed upstairs after laying there for around 20 minutes, took my inhaler, let out a massive shit, took two Aspirin pills and then mellowed out on the small couch in the front family room until my friend woke up. After he came upstairs, he laid on the bigger couch and fell asleep for a while, which I told him not to do because my aunt and her friend would be up soon and would want a place to sit. He did indeed stay there too long and they were pissed off, so I did my best to cheer them up, make them laugh and make them tell me some stories for the sake of keeping the peace and making them happy. During all of this, I kept trying to make my friend sit up and make room, but he kept saying "I know." and going back to sleep, so my aunt and her friend just made everyone breakfast, which was delicious, albeit somewhat smaller than I'm used to for a breakfast meal. They made eggs over medium for us, a small batch of scrambled eggs for themselves, sausage for my uncle, bacon for us and fried potatos with a small bit of onions for us, as well as some toast with a light amount of fresh butter. I was very satisfied after my meal and a small glass of orange juice, which helped a lot to relax my potentially upset stomach from all of the liquor I had the previous night. Typically, if I drink that much, I'll have to throw up one time after an hour or so build up and then I'll feel terrific for the rest of the day. The usual headache shows it's angry face for about an hour after I wake up before the stomach pains and puke, but that's not a big deal. I just ignore it as best as I can and let it run it's course. Ultimately, my mother never answered my text messages, of which I'd sent a good 6-8 of them telling her how I needed to go home due to how shitty I felt. It pissed me off after my aunt and her friend dropped me off because I went up to see if she was home and she'd been sitting on the fucking house phone and ignoring my text messages. I even asked her about it and she said "Well what do you want me to say? My phone ringer was on low, so I didn't respond.", which is bullshit because she was texting back and forth during this small conversation. She literally just ignored my texts, so I expressed my frustration, went into my room, dropped off a few quick messages, set my away messages up and went to sleep. After a nice 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I hopped onto my computer, dropped a few messages to people and wrote this. That said, it's time for me to take a shit, bathe, grab some food and figure out what this day is going to consisit of. Steve out, for now! Take care!

-SM