Friday, January 23, 2009

Another day, another life

I woke up around an hour and a half ago as of this writing, but I'm already in a thoughtful state of mind. I need to relax and stop thinking about things so much before I end up letting things really bother me. One of my best friends has gradually been slipping away and now rarely speaks to me. When I see her, it's more like she feels obligated to spend time with me every so often just to keep the peace. She used to call me at least once per day and we were almost constantly talking via text messages and AIM. Now, however, it takes a lot of work to even get a single responses out of her and when she sends out those responses, it's almost always very brief and unfounded. If it's not brief or unfounded, it's some sort of excuse she's using to turn me down to spend time together. I invite her boyfriend most of the time, but even when I do, they just end up staying inside together all night. I understand the need to be with the one you love, but are you serious? Is it really okay to just throw away friendships like that and make other people feel like you don't care at all? The last time her and I hung out, the only reason we did so is because I offered to pay. She wouldn't have come out had I not put aside money for the both of us. I guarantee it. This is the same friend that the girl I like hangs out with, too, so it makes things even harder right now, especially considering that the girl I like has also been very brief, distant and confusing lately. It seems like she has absolutely no interest and is constantly pushing me aside, so as much as I really don't want to, I think it's time to seriously back off and just let it go. It's time for a change. I need to meet new people, spend more time with my other friends and try my best to forget about this stuff for now. No one likes to lose friends, especially those who knows those personal dark secrets that no one else out there knows. I don't have very many dark secrets that anyone knows about, but the ones that she knows are the deepest ones that I've ever told anyone. They wouldn't defame me or ruin my reputation, but it would certainly require explanation if such things got out to the public. Anyway, the point is that I that I really trusted her, I spent a lot of time, money and effort on our friendship and to top it all off, I really like her friend. I don't want to lose those girls, but I may have to stop fighting and let them go. It's beginning to seem like a lost, albeit painful cause. But for now, I need to head off. I'm trying to figure out what I feel like doing today, if anything, but I'll surely be back later with more to talk about. Take care!


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