Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The end of the first 24 hours

Before I go to bed, I figured I'd go ahead and finalize my first 24 hours here on BlogSpot. After my last blog, I did a few things in FFXI, all of which were failed experiments aside from the easy level 20 Moblin Maze run. Aside from that, I basically did a lot of nothing. I thought about things, reflected on the past few months and started wondering if I'm being toyed with. If any of my supposed friends are indeed toying with me in any sense of the phrase, I don't think I'll handle that very well. The girl I like said she'd talk to me "in a little while" around 1pm, but never got back to me. I sent her a "good night" message around 9:30 and another playful message around 10:30 about how I ripped a good pair of my pants tonight, which really did happen. It sucked, actually! Anyway, she didn't respond to any of those messages and the mutual friend of ours, whom was supposed to bring her boyfriend and hang out with us all tonight didn't respond to me all day aside from to point out that she's "sick". However, other people who saw her know that she was lying to me. If that's the case, there's a possibility that those two were hanging out all day and just chose to avoid spending any time with me for whatever reason. There's also the possibility that the girl I like was spending time with her most recent ex-boyfriend, which would also be bad news. They wont get back together, but they get a little too close, if you get my drift. In the event that the girl I like was spending time with her ex-boyfriend, then the mutual friend was definitely bailing out on me to spend more time with her boyfriend. She's with that boy every waking second outside of school and work. It's quite irritating because she puts off her other friendships and priorities for him. She said the "new relationship phase" would only be for "up to a month", but it's been over 2 months now and it's only getting worse. It's a big jumble of stupid stuff that I really shouldn't even be worrying about, but these girls are self-proclaimed best friends of mine and no matter how happy I am, it's going to hurt if I find out that they're actually lying and treating me like that. I wont actually make such a conclusion until I find out what "really" happened, but the fact that it's a legitimate possibility is enough to make me think about it. I know these girls and maybe I shouldn't hang out with people like that, but this is just how they are. I've just never been the victim. In the past, I was always the one witnessing this stuff and trying to make them stop doing it to other people. But hey, whatever. I'm not going to judge them. They are who they are. I just don't want to be caught up in a jumble of stupid lies, especially if it causes me to lose my friends. I tend to overanalyze things frequently and this is most definitely one of those situations, but I can't help myself when it comes to people that I'm so close to. I hate being ditched and I hate being lied to even more, but it's ten times worse when it involves close friends or love interests. Anyway, the friend I have over is asleep and I'm about to head off to bed; for real this time. I just had to get this crap off my chest. No one's reading this right now, but writing here seems to help me clear my head and set things right. Sweet dreams.


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