Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Last night

After I hopped off the computer, I played some Devil May Cry 4, surprisingly enough. The craving settled in and I just went for it. And now, well let's just say that I don't think I'll be playing much else until I finish Devil May Cry 4. I'm glad I gave into the urge for a change. After that, I played one round of Versus mode in Left 4 Dead with one of my cousins, our mutual friend and an Xbox Live friend of ours. That was good fun, but I couldn't focus because I felt so shitty. Upon jumping out of Left 4 Dead, a strange sensation came over me to reveal the truth to my ex-girlfriend's best friend about our relationship. I don't want to get into the details right now, but let's just say that our relationship failed mostly because we were living a lie. Not many people on her side of things knew about me and it kinda' hurt. A short while later, I received a response to that e-mail, which was both thankful, happy and depressing. My ex lost her baby. She wasn't ready to have a child, I'll admit that, but all the same she was excited. She finally had a name picked out. And what's worse? Well, now she has a shitstorm of drama to deal with because of me. I mean I know there's nothing I could do about it. It's not like I can predict when shit like that happens, ya' know? But I still feel guilty. I feel terrible about it. As much as I don't want her in my life, I just want to hold her and tell her that it'll be okay. No one deserves that. NO ONE. Next, one of my best friends logged on Live and we just talked for about an hour about any and everything. He comforted me a bit and just helped me clear my head, which really made me feel better about some things in the long run. As soon as we stopped talking, I basically passed out in my bed until about 30 minutes ago. My Theraflu is all gone, so I'm basically fucked in terms of my symptoms. I'll feel all of the pain of this sore-as-shit throat, my body is going to ache constantly and I wont be able to sleep properly. I would get another bottle, but I'm not so sure if that's a good idea. There has to be a reason that they tell you not to take it for more than 3 days, right? Anyway, I feel like complete shit and every little thing is bothering me. Take care.


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