Sunday, January 25, 2009

History repeats...again

Well, today was really fun. My friends and I played Apples To Apples for the entire duration of the party, I ate a good bit of food and, at least for now, I don't feel "as" sick. There's just one slight problem. You see, the mutual friend of myself and the girl I like revealed some rather disturbing things to me about the girl I like. The problem with these things is that this mutual friend doesn't lie, no matter how much it hurts. She would tell me, for better or for worse, exactly what's going on. So, it's with great disappointment and a high degree of sadness that I have to reveal those same truths to you, my loyal reader(s). First of all, the girl I like still hangs out with her ex-boyfriend and on top of that, she more or less lies about it. They still have sex, they still cuddle up and they act like they're in a relationship, but neither of them wants to be together with the title because they just aren't "right" for one another. Second, she's talking to a bunch of other guys, just like she did in the past and she's telling them all the same things as me. I'm just another one of the many. In her eyes, I'm honestly no one special. I mean so little, in fact, that she can't even just be honest with me and clear things up. She lies about where she's at and what she's doing, she hides things and she gives me completely obvious mixed signals. And to top that off, she hasn't said anything at all about me to any of her girlfriends, most of whom are mutual friends of mine. I'm just some dirty little secret. She uses me for attention, just like the other guys. In fact, she more or less told our primary mutual friend that exact fact, only used it on a broader scale. She uses every guy she talks to for attention. Every guy treats her like a piece of meat and she allows it to happen. She constantly gets hurt because of that, too. I wouldn't treat her bad and our mutual friend knows it. She said she even feels bad for me because she knows that this shit cuts me deep and she knows that I really care about the girl I like and that I'd take good care of her. She hates how the girl I like is treating me, but there's nothing I can do about it. That said, I'm calling the shots from now on and it's game over for the girl I like. There's not much hope for her, after all. I thought she changed, but I guess she never will. I need to do something to get my mind off her before I start crying, throwing a fit and doing stupid things. Not many things can get to me, but this situation really hurts. It cuts me deeper than any one of you can imagine, regardless of how "typical" this situation may be. Goodbye for now. Take care.


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