Not much to report...

I haven't done absolutely anything today, other than order an S-Video system selector to make more use of my PlayStation 3, since it's a pain in the ass to constantly swap the cables from the back of my TV with the way it's set up. Because of this, I rarely use anything other than my PC and Xbox 360, so that problem will be resolved in the 3-5 business days that it takes for the package to get here. Many people have been very unresponsive today and I also slept through most of the day. I did talk to the girl I like(d?) at one point, but only very briefly and the conversation wasn't very eventful. She's getting a tattoo on her hip of a flower that she drew herself. She sent a picture of the mockup she did and it does look pretty cool, but I'm not a tattoo kinda' guy, so the size of the flower was a bit too big for my tastes. Still, for the sake of not being a dick, I told her it looked good and what not. She's getting it done this weekend no matter what, so whatever. That's on her, not me. She has my Zune because I lent it to her for a 1-2 week period so she could compare musical tastes, but I should probably get that back as soon as possible, considering the circumstances. I'm bored, I don't feel like doing much of anything and my friends are being very unresponsive. In other news, my appetite is sorta' coming back, but not full-force just yet. It's more like I realized that I need to eat, so I'm eating more because yesterday I only ate a single very small ham sandwich on a roll with no toppings or anything and only 2 small slices of ham. That was my entire day's worth of food. Today, however, I had a ridiculous meal that included a fried breaded and stuffed cheesy jalapeno, 2 breaded and fried chicken tenders, a small chicken, bacon and cheese wrap, a sausage McGriddle and a hash brown. That was all in one meal. Later, which was about an hour ago, I gobbled down 3 slices of stuffed crust pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut. In total, I've probably had 3,000 calories or so, factoring in the Reese's cups I had and the glass of milk I drank. I'm "supposed" to be eating 3,400 or so calories to maintain my weight and I've been eating 0-1,500 every day. In most cases, less than 1,500. It's really unhealthy for me and I know I have to slow down, eat a bit more and start getting more active to compensate. I don't know what was/is wrong. I just don't have an appetite anymore. I just know that I need to eat. I don't even really get enjoyment out of eating most of the time anymore, aside from a very small handful fo select foods that I crave from time to time. Anyway, my friend's boyfriend gave me back "F.E.A.R." and "Dead Space" and is absolutely loving "Fallout 3". He didn't like "F.E.A.R." very much, but he finished "Dead Space" very quickly because he liked it so much. There's one more thing left to talk about, though and it's a kinda' important subject...

I need to figure out what I'm going to do about my Australian ex-girlfriend, once and for all. She disappeared for several days, after logging off randomly 4 days ago without saying goodbye or anything right in the middle of a good conversation. After talking to her about it, she claims she fell asleep in that short 5 minute time span and that her mother turned the laptop off 2 minutes later. I don't know how probable that is, but it's not my duty to question or speculate anymore when it comes to her. She may "need" me, but as much as I feel the "need" to have her around to an extent, I know it's not good for either of us in the long run. She's just going to lead me on, say and do the same things she always used to do and establish the foundation for something that neither of us are going to be a part of. We've already established that it's never going to happen between us again. She also has a keen interest in her ex-boyfriend, whom is a complete asshole. As soon as she lost her baby, he immediately popped back up. When she was pregnant and before he knew she had lost the baby, he didn't care. All he wanted was to fuck, which she didn't give in to. She's falling for him all over again, though. That's why my friendship with her is an even worse concept now than it was before. Oh well. I guess I just have to suck it up and tell her that we can't do this anymore. As much as she feels this "need" to have me around, I can't be there to fill that supposed void. She blew her chance and I'm not going to wait around for another dysfunctional relationship to take control of my life.

On that note, I've ran out of things to talk about for the moment. It's a sad, sad day in my life. When it rains, it pours. There was definitely a calm, then a massive storm and now I'm dealing with the destruction that the storm has caused. Here's to hoping for a better future. Take care.

-SM